Grandchat

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m a huge fan of carbs. Any kind. Pasta, rice, chips, bread. I really love bread, especially the little rolls that come with the Italian food the human sometimes orders. Those are the best. Hmm…

Maybe not the best. Doughnuts are pretty great as well. The human once bought a doughnut with sprinkles at a cafe and put it in her purse to eat when she got to work. Well she forgot about it and it was still in her bag when she came home that night. Now that evening, I’d been smelling this intriguing aroma all evening and couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. After the human went to bed I went in search of it and found the doughnut. After ripping off the saran wrap cover I devoured it. I’d never had anything so tasty. After eating it, I slipped into the biggest food coma ever. When the human woke up she had a fit. Something about the doughnut bits all over the floor and about how the chocolate in the sprinkles was bad for me. That’s when I told her that I didn’t eat any of those. I didn’t like the way they tasted and I just ate around them. She seemed a little less annoyed then. She still said that I should at least have tried to be a little neater eating the doughtnut. I told her I’d try. Doughnuts are great.

After that experience, I made a habit of checking her bag every night. You never know what you’re going to find in there. Some nights I strike out and then some nights I find a bag of chips. One night I even found a bag of with pieces of chicken breast! She had put the leftovers for a meal in her bag to bring home and forgot they were in there. That was such a great find, I shared it with Gabriel and Genevieve.

But lately, she’s been checking her bag when she gets home and takes out anything I might want. It’s been slim pickin’s lately. That was until last night. I smelled something coming from the bag and set about investigating. I opened up the bag and nosed around until I found a bag of Chex Mix. Score! I was dragging if off to a corner when the human spotted me and grabbed the bag back. She really can be a killjoy sometimes.

But then there are times when she’s really great and she eating something like a bagel and puts a small piece besides her for me. Then she just lets me find it. She doesn’t call me over and point out that she gave me some extra food. That would make Gabriel and Genevieve jealous. But she’ll put it in a place only I’d think to look. One time she gave me half a slice of bread.

Thinking about that, I guess she’s not so bad. I just wish she had let me have that bag of Chex Mix. I love that stuff.

So I had a new experience this weekend. I donated blood for the first time. In case you were wondering, this wasn’t my idea. The human volunteered me for it. But I’m glad I did it. Let me just say that I have a new respect for humans and animals that donate on a regular basis.

According to the human I got stuck by a needle about 50 times. I thought I was donating blood. Who knew I was going in for acupuncture. Now you might ask why I didn’t know how many times I got stuck with the needle. Well that’s because they knock out us cats in order to get blood. Turns out most of us won’t sit still while someone gabs a needle into our jugulars.

And speaking of jugulars, turns out mine are pretty small. Part of the reason I got stuck with the needle so many times is that my veins are not very good. They are really small and according to the human, really hard to get blood out of. She should know. She was the one in charge of keeping me sedated and monitoring the ol’ vital signs. Because of my not so great veins, it took them a really long time to get blood from me. But they were able to do it and were able to transfuse my blood into a really sick kitty.

Because I was sedated, I had to stay at the emergency hospital for a little while until I recovered. I still felt a little loopy when the human came to pick me up, but I started to feel better once I was home with the familiar smells.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to donate blood again because of my veins, but I’m really proud that I was able to do it at least once. And you should do it too. For humans it’s easier to find a place to donate blood. For animals, contact your local vet or an emergency animal hospital to see if they have a blood bank program available.

It feels good to give.

Ariel

So the human goes shopping quick a bit. She doesn’t buy much because she can never find anything that fits properly. So because of that, she actually does a lot of sewing. She can customize outfits to fit her better. Sometimes they come out really well and sometimes she ends up with shirts that have never seen the light of day. That shirts are usually accompanied by her muttered under her breathe about the idiots that wrote the pattern.

Lately she has been working on a top to a bridesmaid dress. This has led to some fun for us kitties. Empty spools of thread can be used to bat around and keep your hunting skills sharp. Ariel usually does more of this than I do, but last night I was feeling rambunctious and had a few rounds of Bat the Spool before I got tired.

Another benefit to her sewing is playing with the fabric. When she cuts out the patterns, she inevitably cuts out a strip of fabric that looks like a snake. This is amusing on two fronts. At first Ariel thinks that it’s a real snake and leaps into the air when he sees it and then beging to pummel it within an inch of its nonexistent life. Then he realizes that it’s not a real snake and kinda look around all embarressed. He keeps hoping that we haven’t seen him, but we always do. He then gets over having been witnessed doing somethine stupid and goes back to pouncing on the fabric. I sometimes get in on the action. I don’t need as much practice pouncing as Ariel does, but it’s still fun to do.

Another great thing about the human sewing is that she sets up the sewing table. Now you might ask what’s so exciting about a table. The sewing machine has a nice hum to it and vibrates the table a bit. It turns the table into a cat sized massage table. Great for working out sore muscles or relaxing after a hard day. We used to be a little nervous about the sewing machine because it sort of reminded us of the vacuum cleaner. But unlike the vacuum, the sewing machine stays in one place and you can get acquainted with it on your own terms. Because of that, we all like the sewing machine and have discovered its benefits.

But the fun of the human sewing is not without its dangers. The machine she uses has a really pointy part to it. I’ve sniffed at it a couple of times, but have never touched it. Ariel, however, has touched it a couple of times and once even tried to bat at it while it was moving. The human nearly had a fit. She was shouting something about him sewing his feet together and that he was going to look like Franenkitty. He doesn’t try batting at it anymore, but he does still lay on the table and watch it closely.

But that said, the sewing machine can produce some great stuff. Some of the stuff the human has made for us are catnip pouches and fleece pillows. Genevieve even has a coat because she used to go to the doctor so much.

I have to say, sewing is one of the few things the human does that distracts her from us but still benefits us.

Gabriel

So living with the human we watch a lot of tv. For someone whose a librarian, she watches an unhealthy amount of tv. Of course she reads more books than most people so it balances out.

Because of this, I am exposed to a lot of different tv shows. Some are better than others. Now humans have a weird idea of what makes for good tv, so there is no point in trying to recommend shows to them. Instead, I’m going to make recommendations of shows that might interest my fellow cats.

The first is Stargate SG-1. This science fiction shows follows a team of explorers from a secret government department as they explore the galaxy through a portal. My human is quite enthralled with the various ways the main characters defeat their enemies. I look at the show from a different perspective. I think of it as a primer on how to take over the world. The Gou’ald, the “bad guys” of the show, have some extraordinary ways of keeping humans in check. I think we cats could learn from them.

The next is Mythbusters. This show on the Discovery Channel sets about debunking various myths in each episode. I’ve never heard of any of the myths nor do I care if they are true. I’m more interested in the interesting ways they have figured out to blow things up. This information will come in handy for the cat revolution.

Then there is The Planet’s Funniest Animals. Not every show needs to be educational. This one is just fun. I like it when the animals bite the people who are being patronizing. The human tells me there used to be a show called When Animals Attack. That sounds like it would have been a great show.

Next there are any of the CSI shows, although I am partial to the original. It’s interesting to see how humans solve crimes. The show also provides quite a few interesting colors, shiny objects, and quickly moving projectiles. Lots of interesting stuff to look at. And I like the Gil Grissom character. Kinda the fictionalized version of another great show, The New Detectives.

The last show is another Animal Planet show, Animal Precinct. This show follows a team of animal cruelty investigators as they rescue animals from abusive owners. Some of the animals are in bad situations, but the officers always work to help the animals. I especially like it when they arrest people.

So that’s my list of some great shows for cats. Think I let any out? E-mail them to infocats2005@grandchat.com or leave a comment.

Coming up, Gabriel will list some great movies for cats and Genevieve will cover great books for cats. Of course I have no idea when they will get around to doing it. I mean between the cat revolution and napping, they have a fill schedule.

Ariel

Hi all. Please think about donating to the support and rescue of animal hurricane victims. They need your help too. Here’s the link.

The Grandchat Crew
Gabriel, Ariel, and Genevieve

A couple of months ago, the human started watching this show, America’s Next Top Model. You might have heard about it. This group of girls vies to become a top fashion model. At first I wasn’t quite sure what a model was so I asked the human and she told me that a model was someone who wore outfits and was photographed in them. The goal was to get people to buy the clothes. Sometimes people are models for makeup products. She told me that models were supposed to be some of the most beautiful women in the world. Then she started grumbling about being a six foot tall stick figure did not make one beautiful and that some of those models should eat something. Of course she might have just been grumpy because she wants cheesecake.

Anyway, the human says that models can make good money for what is not a mentally taxing job. So I’ve decided to become a supermodel.

As I type this the human is snorting at me. She says that there no such thing as a feline supermodel. Well there has to be a first one and it looks like I’m going to be it.

Check out one of my first shots and tell me what you think. I think the angle might make me look a little hippy.

I’m going to start looking for work as soon as I get up from my nap. I’ve already made plans of what I want to buy with my first paycheck. There’s this fabulous cat condo I’ve had my eye on. I’ve been waiting for the human to buy it, but she keeps saying that money doesn’t grow on trees and if I want it I should save up and buy it. Really! How am I supossed to save up for it when we don’t get an allowance or anything.

I’ll keep you up to date on my future modeling career.

Genevieve

I will never understand how the human hasn’t been killed yet. I mean between leaving the house on a regular basis and fraternizing with dogs, it’s a miracle I’m not looking for a new human. Lately, she’s taken to wearing this “sweater.” I call it the “Top of Terror.” It’s a sweater that opens in the front like a cardigan. But instead of buttons or zippers to close it, it has two long strings that she wraps around her body. That’s right! She wraps them around her body so that they don’t even have to make that effort before they sqeeze her to death.

So given that finding a good human is hard to do, I try and protect her from the “Strangler Strings.” As they are dangling on the floor, I leap on them, grab them with my mouth, and start to run away with them. This is where the human starts getting cranky. She says I’m keeping her from getting dressed. I’m going to tear her sweater. I’m digging my claws into the delicate flesh of her feet. I think these are all small prices to pay for protection.

I swear. She’s a total ingrate.

Ariel

Hi all and welcome to the new Grandchat.com. We have been away a while reevaluating the Web site and how to make it better and more useful to you the reader. Who are we kidding, we just decided to take a two year nap and have just gotten back up. We will now be back with more frequent updates about our goings-on. All three of us will be posting so make sure to check the bottom of the post to see who wrote. And feel free to e-mail us at infocats2005@grandchat.com. I can’t say we’ll care or respond, but send them anyway.

Gabriel